In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel asks the question, “How can you want, what you already have?”
Love is about having; desire is about wanting. When you have too much desire you’re insecure and anxious. On the other hand, when you have too much love you’re too comfortable, you have too much security, and you feel trapped.
The thesis of Mating in Captivity is that if you’d like to create passionate, long-lasting relationship you’ll need find a balance between your love and your desire. Perel gives her advice and tactics on how to find this balance.
More info about Mating in Captivity and Ester Perel is on my site at http://castig.org/mating-in-captivity/